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tales and confessions of glorified sinner

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Location: United Kingdom

as said by the sex pest and if u dont believe me u can ask him: a very sexy, talented young lady that knows exactly what she wants and how to get it!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Fruit cocktail

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hmmmm, is odd ive had a bowl of museli for brekkie as i couldnt resist(marks and sparks luxury stuff with lots of nuts in) it but in the weird world i inhabit it still constitutes cheating on my diet. how can that be cheating on a diet i hear you cry?? it should have been a cream cake or a fry up.
im off carbs you see,which means the fry up is permissable (but bacon without the bread and ketchup is just unnatural!) but the museli and (sadly) the cream cakes are off the menu! the up side of this is that i get to do all my shopping in LIDL which i adore! is just like going on holiday. you have to rely on the pictures on the outside of the cans to work out whats in them and just because the tin has a picture of fruitcocktail on it, that doesnt neccesarily mean it wont be stew thats in it! but i love going to lidl coz u get loads of nice continental cheeses and meats that actually have been cured in the black forest and not a bunch of flavoured processed gumph from a factory in Uxbridge or similar. is good being able to do my own shopping too as feel like a grown up. i dont understand why my mother bewails going to the supermarket and having to decide! i love it. and i dont decide i just buy whole bunches of random stuff and play Ready Steady Cook at dinner time. it irritates the hell out of the parental units as i do have a habit towards using every utensil and pot in the place. but thats coz they refuse to use the dishwasher for cleaning up. i reckon its because, like the television remote control, they dont know how it works. personally i dont understand this, i mean a dishwasher is a domestic item like a cooker or a washing machine so surely as soon as you become parents you should have a detailed knowledge of how these things work? just like a soon as people get their bus pass they develop an indepth knowledge of all bus routes and time table? it must be like in The Matrix when they plug Neo in to the computer and hey presto "i know Kung foo". except from its hey presto "i know know exactly where the No.89 goes and i think i might get it to Govan cross as there is a good charity shop there and i fancy a new jigsaw"???

oooh and talking of dishwashers, is it possible to cook stuff in them while they are cleaning other stuff, say like boil in the bag fish? we were just wondering as my mate has made popcorn in a tumble dryer and my brother and i have cooked chicken breasts and potato waffles in the toaster(not at the same time however as chicken takes forever to cook in a toaster). also my brother once tried to make pasta by repeatedly boiling it in the kettle, but i take no responsibility for that whatsoever!

in retrospect its probably a bad idea that my parents are off to you Agean villa on sunday. there not going to have a house left to come back to. oh well party round my gaff as of sunday night. we can have popcorn al la tumblerdryer and play russian roulette with cans from Lidl.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

unsolved mysteries of the universe

just finished watching a double bill of star trek voyager on five (god i wish i had sky and not just council house telly coz then it would be back to back next gen) and something is troubling me.

why, when they have the whole run of the galaxy and seem to be able to choose time lines at will, do most of the senior officers seem end up running about 20th century earth? to be fair it is voyager and TOS who are worst for this. excepting the odd occasion when the crew of deep space nine feel the need to all jump on a runabout and go to bajor or something, they dont get out much (which does explain the inbreeding), and the crew of next gen have been a bit more daring and headed to the wild west on occasion. there is even a whole film of them (TOS)running around 1980s california.

i just wonder if any of the 23rd and 24th century crews ever bumped into each other?


Picard "well here we are in 20th century california and the whole crew, apart from dr crusher and myself as usual, have some disease that is threatening to infect the local population and distrupt the time line but we cant help them as that would violate the prime directive. merdi merdi"

Kirk " well im going to do what i usually do and have scotty and bones sort it all out while i pull some local bird in a skimpy costume while spock looks on disapprovingly in the background"

janeway "well i would do something but im scared that i might get a hair out of place"

actually i should probably refrain from posting this as it makes me seem like an unbelievably sad trekker, however as i have embraced my latent nerdiness (yes i have progressed beyond geekdom) as recorded in previous post, i thought "sod it".
so here u are

random ramblings


Sunday, April 02, 2006


hello children, i know its been a while but i actually have been up to a whole bunch of stuff since i last updated you of my activities! (tho i suppose i should hope so since its been like six months or something!

ah many a tale i have to tell, so i shall save it for an occasion when we are seated round a glowing fire, sipping mead and talking of times long past (or in other words when im not at work and my boss cant read what ive been up to over my shoulder!)

just didnt want u to think i had forgotten you. oh no

also i have pics to post but as they are saved on my home pc u shall have to wait untill i update things from home

Luv the doctor (am putting in it in little letters in hope that way im not infringing the BBc copyright on a vertain other doctor!!)

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Basil my hamster died, bless his wee cotton socks. i buried him in a wee coffin i made from silver card in my back garden. he always was a bit on the camp side so he should appreciate it.(he used to live in a lilac cage and got all excited whenever songs from muicals, abba, etc were played in his vicinity)
he shall be sorely missed and mourned by all, except my cat, who has never gotten over the time he bit her.

Rest in Peace Basil, may the pealy gates open wide for you, for the hamster wheel are not squeaky in heaven.

ps, my friend's gerbil, george died on the same day so im suspecting a possible rodent suicide pact, tho we havent to be sad about george as that was him getting his comeuppance for killing jordan the gerbil and eating her head then trying to fornicate with her wee headless body. sicko
he shall go to gerbil hell where all there is to eat is those wee brown things in the small pet mix that no small pet ever eats

Snow Angels

hmmm, think i have discovered what is wrong, my friend and i were discussing in work why we are feeling a bit frustrated and cabin feverish at the moment, and we have come to the conclusion that it is because were have been born in the wrong century.
there doest seem to be anything left to discover, it would have been great to have lived when you could get on a horse and ride for days with only the horse and your sword for company. or sailled a ship with only a suit of sails for power and the stars to guide you. when potential perils included dragons, levaithans and mermaids.ok im romanticizing a bit- ignoring the highwaymen and the scurvy and the like but you get my point.
which is why i quite fancy re training as a geologist (not suggesting they have anything to do with mythical beasts), and going to antarctica in search of some adventure. or down the marianna trench in a sub or similar. actually fancy antarctica more, as would get to make snow angels, anyway i digress. whole concept as me as a geologist creates messy situation in head tho, as i want to look like gwen stefani, however i doubt one can abseil down a cliff face to look at igneous rock formations while wearing platforms.mind u i dont think snow boots come with a four inch heel either
no i think ill give up on the gwen stefani thing and just be a geologist

oooh or i could be an archaeologist like lara croft?

anyway, this pointless witter has actually just been a diversion from my vampire essay which im getting bored with and the research for has been giving me odd dreams. hmmm back to the essay

well maybe in five mins or so, my shoe collection needs sorting in order of heel height or something...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink.....

am just a bit frustrated at the moment, am trying to decide what i want to do after i graduate and i have three possible options(maybe four) and i just dont know what to do.basically if i dont do a post grad ill end up stuck in a soul destroying call centre, retail type environment and spend the rest of my life counting down the days till the grave.
problem with the post grad is basically money-as per, unless i get funding (which is a slim chance considering the nature of my degree) i am going to have to resort to gun running or selling internal organs on the internet
alternatively i could train to be a teacher then teach part time and study part time. problem with that is i hate kids. the kids i do volunteer stuff with are great kids but only coz they want to be there.
my third option is going to do a second undergrad degree, but thats my last fav, specially since im not getting any younger and i would need to pay for that too

i think all education should be free. the government shouldnt waste money trying to get 50% of people into higher education, when 50% of people shouldnt be in higher education. that money should go to funding those people who have the academic ability to be at college/university.
im not being elietist, but the system will end up just like the higher/a level system where in order for more people to pass and to fullfill quota requirements they lower standards, thus cheapening the qualifications for everyone else.

as the chances of they system changing within the next 6 months is miniscule, im keeping my fingers crossed that ill get funding

failing that, if there are any rich men out there looking for a trophy wife, drop me a line.....

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Tis plague i tell thee, tis plagues! no really i have the cold, it may even be bird flu and i think im dying.....

not really, i dont believe i have bird flu(but just like all the tabloids out there it does make for a sensational headline), tho i do have a really nasty cold, and if i die from it at all, it will only be because i have overdosed on lemsip. (according to the back of the packet it is possible, tho i guess it wouldnt look very rock'n'roll on your death certificate, it actually almost lapses into Darwin award territory)
the most amazing thing is the ammount of advice and cure-alls people come out/up with when u tell them your under the weather. hot orange juice, someone suggested, all that vitamin c will fix you. despite the fact that the vitamin c is broken down by the heating process.
try NightNurse, one friend suggested, it has heroin in it. as a licenced pharmecutical i somehow doubt thats the case but i might give it a go.
hot toddies, for those of you unsure of what they consist of, its hot water lemon juice and honey and (lots of)whisky.
possible my favourite cure, purely because it operates on the basis of, if nothing else works resort to alcohol.(snorting vodka is another one, parently its meant to help clear the sinuses... ) although im sure ive read somewhere about the medicinal remedies of honey.....
personaly the hot toddy remedy is my favourite, you can lie huddled on the couch, in your duvet, eating chicken soup (particular fav cold remedy of the older generation)watching brain rotting day time telly, drinking hot toddies, stepping up the dosage till your too pisssed to care that feel like the phleghm you have just expactorated into your man sized kleenex.

stupidly, i told my grandmother i was ill. big mistake as this woman is the biggest hypocondriac know to humanity. she reads the medical dictionaries then develops the symptoms. i remember the time she convinced heself she had some disease (i cant remember what) until my mother pointed out it only afflicts men. she also likes to part take in the odd game of medical one up manship. if you have a headache, she has brain tumour, that kind of thing.
anyway, it was her who decided i might have bird flu, regardless of the fact the nearest ive come to a bird in a long time was the reconstituted pulp i had in my mc chicken sandwich.
i pointed out the chances of it being bird flu were probably on parr with me winning the lottery and moving into a mansion to discover brad pitt lived next door and liked gardening in the nude.
bad statement to make for several reasons.
A, my gran is a bit of a prude-she complained to th bbc coz the said 'bra' once during blue peter.
B, as an ex-salvationist she frowns upon gambling, so much so she saves a pound a week and puts it in a big jar in her living room to remind the rest of us sinners, exactly how much money we have thrown down the drain over the years.
you have to be in it to win it i always say.
And you never know, you might just end up coming to visit me in my mansion next door to brad pitt
ill even supply the binoculars ladies
with that, i shall retire to my recliner with my blanket and my hot toddy.
Paul o Grady will be on soon
fell free to tell me your plague cures. i might give them a go

Monday, October 10, 2005

what does your birthday month say about you

Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite andsoft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating,
tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the
best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves
to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative.
Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make
friends. Abiding. Able to show character.
Easilyhurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to
dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows
emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

What does your birth month reveal about you? (read memo)
brought to you by Quizilla

i agree with the dressing up bit

what does your birthday month say about you?

Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite andsoft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating,
tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the
best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves
to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative.
Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make
friends. Abiding. Able to show character.
Easilyhurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to
dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows
emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

What does your birth month reveal about you? (read memo)
brought to you by Quizilla

i agree with the dressing up bit, am thinking Titania, Queen of the Faeries for All Hallows? what thinkest thou?